I Am So Proud I did It! I Got my Year stockpile of Diapers for $50!

So I have been for the past 3 months working on my stockpile of baby stuff for my little one and I am so proud of myself. I saved all my receipts and I added them all up and it came to $48.67 for all these diapers! I thought that those people on the extreme couponing show were fake but I am a true believer. If it wasn't for Feona at BabyDealsandFreebies.com for posting all the weekly diaper deals and tutorials I would be paying full price for my baby stuff. Has anyone been couponing like this? Extreme? Its addicting!

Why It’s Hard for Me to Announce My Pregnancy

 
I am 14 weeks pregnant with our second child. With such exciting information, you’d think I would be bursting to make the announcement, right? Well, not really. I actually have mixed feelings about letting everyone in on this new development in our family. It’s not because we’ve had any health challenges (thankfully). In fact, my first trimester felt much better this time around. The reason I find it hard to announce my pregnancy? I am acutely aware that my news may surface pain for someone hearing it.

 I have an ex boyfriend I have known for 3 years. The original relationship didn't last long due to his lifestyle (very much a party animal and at the time popping pills like polo's.) although we have remained friends. In a moment of weakness i went to see him for the first time in 2 years and obviously got pregnant.
I told him immediately and he told me that he didn't want a child (bit late now!) but supported my decision to keep it. Which was a very difficult one to make! I understand that and have kept everything on a very even keel as i don't want to rock the boat in case he withdraws support completely, but I am finding it very hard knowing i am really, really struggling, both emotionally and financially and he is off partying and wasting a huge amount of money every weekend. Then I feel massively guilty for being so selfish!

I just feel so down at the thought that alot of women go through this with someone by their side to be excited with them, to pamper them and to enjoy everything that goes with pregnancy and i don't have that. It isn't related to Tiger at all, i never had a serious relationship with him and certainly wouldn't want that now. My parents are wonderful but we are all so stressed for money etc that life is hard. we all work hard and i work with horses so ache constantly!

Sorry for the rant, but AARGGH!! Does this get better!?!

Wanna See Something Gross?

Disclaimer: A follow up in my last blog. A wonderful girl that I've been friends with for years has volunteered to join the "Missy Goes To Church" team after reading my blog. I won't reveal her just yet, she knows who she is. She is a wonderful person and one of my dearest of friends. She reminds me of Mary Poppins. So poised, good natured, pretty, but she dresses better! This weekend will be their first outing and Missy is SO excited. More about that next week.

Now on to todays' blog. So I've mentioned before I was in this wedding. The dress is called "Pool". And my big butt didn't fit in the dress. I got tired of people telling me I was over reacting. "It'll be fine. Don't worry" or "Please. You look little" was all I heard when I tried to talk about it a couple of months ago. Guess what? I took proof there WAS something to worry about. So approaching my challenge, I took pictures. And no one has ever seen them........before now. So go ahead and look. They are a little blurry. It's hard to stand in a 12 inch bathroom, in a dress that is too small, try and take pictures, and pray no one in the house found you doing it.

It sorta fit from the front........

Wow, didn't know I was the pregnant bridesmaid.......

This is really how far it zips up.......

So, the question is........does the dress fit? Well, after shedding 12 pounds, I am proud to say it does. I don't look great in it, but that sucker zips up. I probably won't blog again before the weekend, so you'll just have to sit in suspense until my next post when I put the wedding pictures up to see the finished product. Tomorrow I go for the nail/toe thing (with Missy of course). After that, I will be moving on to turn my one eyebrow into two again. I love when I get to pay lots of money to be all princess-like for a weekend.

Some Days Are Good. Some Days Are Bad.

Life is still a constant roller coaster here. Some days I am ok with everything going on. Other days I feel so lonely and wonder if I am making the biggest mistake of my life. I love the Tiger. I really love him. I look at him everyday and wonder what went wrong. Why can't it be different? All along I thought it was him. We were breaking up because of him. As the days go on, I am beginning to think it's me. Maybe it's really not, maybe it's the guilt of looking at my life being packed up in boxes once again. Either way, the decision has been made and it's not something that can be changed now. It is what it is. But, sometimes I still feel so sad. As if now I am going to be alone forever. 30 is coming up next year. I always thought I'd be married long before 30. Looks like I'll be single.

House hunt is interesting. I enjoy seeing how others live and what they describe as a "spacious 2 bedroom with a beautiful view." I think I finally found the perfect place for me and Missy last night. I am waiting on my application to be mailed to me.

Job hunting is slow. I have an interview today for a temp to perm job at a steel company. If I could get it, that would mean some nice benefits. But, let's not try and get our hopes up here. I am rusty in all of this stuff.

Have You Been Good or Bad?

It's New Year's Eve and I'm stuck working! Our wall thermostat went out last night and we had no heat. Thank you for 24 hour repair services. I'm not thinking of the bad things right now, only the good. I've had a writer's block lately. You should see all my "drafts" from the last couple of weeks. For now, pictures will have to do. I wish YOU ALL A VERY SAFE New Years. Peace out for now.

Me And Some Giggly Women